How to Live with Your
Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)
Episode 9: How to Get
Involved
By: Carlos Uribe
How
to Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life) is a show about
a single mother who moves in with her parents right after a divorce.
Spoilers
Ahoy!
How
to Get Involved is a surprisingly layered episode of How to Live With
Your Parents because it actually states something about the
consequences of Elaine's parenting style. There is a part of the
episode where a young Polly compares herself to Rhoda. Her parents
aren't happy with this because they think that she's more like Mary.
In case you're lost, the series is making a reference to the classic
sit-com The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
This belief that Polly is Rhoda pervades throughout her life until
her mother finally questions it. Why does Polly think she's a Rhoda?
The answer is simple. Her own mother was Mary and there couldn't be
two in the same household. So Polly became a Rhoda because she had
to. Her parents were constantly outshining her because they wanted
all their attention on themselves. They never sacrificed their lives
for their daughter so she had to grow up independent but without any
confidence because she was never treated as important by her parents.
They might have claimed she was a Mary but they never canceled an
event for her. They didn't pick her up from summer camp amongst
numerous other things. Polly had vocal support but it had no backbone
to back it up. What's worse is that they simply didn't let her shine.
She's a capable human being but she doesn't believe it because her
parents always stole the spotlight. Elaine might believe that her
daughter is actually a Mary but she never acted on that belief until
this episode. This is largely because they're afraid that Polly is
holding herself back because she doesn't believe in herself and
because they think that Natalie is developing the same
self-confidence issues. After all, Natalie didn't want to be the lead
but a background player in a play her dad is directing. In other
words, Elaine and Max are confronted with how they might have an
independent daughter but one whose holding herself back from success
because of their own actions. Polly and Julian might be figuring life
out but this is very much a redemption story for Max and Elaine.
Their daughter living with them and Natalie gives them a second
chance to act as proper parents. So I like how the show used The
Mary Tyler Moore Show to comment
on Polly's upbringing.
The
title How to Get Involved is basically about how Max and Elaine
decide to get involved in the lives of their granddaughter and
daughter, respectively. The two are happy when they find out that
there is a job opening for Polly and that Natalie is in a play. Their
happiness quickly turns to disappointment as they learn that Polly
isn't going for the job opening and Natalie is a hill with no lines.
Max decides to head to the school to see if he can get his daughter a
better role only he's surprised to learn that the director is Julian.
He loses his focus on getting Natalie a leading role and concentrates
on trying to salvage the production. This is because Julian is
exerting little authority over the kids and is assuring them that
it's okay if they forget their lines. Max takes the theater very
seriously so he doesn't like how the production is being chaotically
managed. This disagreement over how to direct a school play leads to
a scene where Max insults Julian in front of the whole class. Natalie
gets mad at him which leads to Max apologizing to Julian. To make it
up to him, Max has to go out and take over the role of a kid who gets
stage fright right before the play opens. It's a nice funny moment as
Brad Garret is able to sell that moment perfectly. Overall, the
Natalie plot was good for some solid laughs but it wasn't as strong
as Elaine and Polly. That's because while Max's relationship with
Natalie should have been the focus, Julian's presence hindered that.
Julian didn't steal the focus on purpose but the friction between Max
and Julian slightly overpowered the Max and Natalie plot. This could
have been a good plot to better establish the Max and Natalie
relationship but Julian's presence meant that the series couldn't
actually do this.
The
Elaine and Polly plot do work really well. Elaine convinces Polly to
talk to her boss about the cheese and wine manager job. Polly is a
bit awkward at first because she has butterflies. Elaine tries her
best to encourage her daughter but she steals the spotlight when a
customer asks about wine. Elaine is trying to help Polly but she
inadvertently did what she always does: she became the Mary. She
became the star. Elaine was so good at being a manager for that
department that she was offered the job. Polly gets frustrated by
this because she realized that she did want to manage cheese and
wine. Once Elaine apologized, Polly stormed into her boss' office
with the confidence and will she needed to get the promotion. It's a
strong plot because of the Elaine and Polly relationship. Elaine gets
to see the consequence of always being the star in her own life and
how this has impacted Polly's ambitions. She gets involved to build
up her daughter but she stays too long. She could have easily gone
away after the morning pep talk and Polly would have gotten the job
fine. She might have taken a while to warm up but she did have a clue
of what she was talking about. She does stand up for herself and take
the job that she was convinced was hers for the taking by her mom.
She has now been able to graduate from Rhoda into Lou Grant. She's
still placing herself as the star of characters who had their own
spin-offs but she is slowly promoting herself into a Mary. Which is
great progress that her mom managed to make, even if accidental.
How
to Get Involved is an episode that makes me sad because this is a
show that's almost over. There are only four episodes left and then
this show will be gone forever. It might have started out rocky but
it's managed to become a funny, good show with a strong heart. How to
Get Involved is a good episode of this show that is funny, has a
great heart, and is able to actually explore the results of parenting
through Mary Tyler Moore. I
think that's a pretty good accomplishment for a show that completely
failed at having a pilot.
Other Notes:
The
show having to explain it's Mary Tyler Moore references
was a bit annoying because I've seen a few episodes of the sit-com.
On the other hand, I'm probably in the minority amongst my
generation. Basically the show should have picked a more recent
reference that it wouldn't have been compelled to explain.
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